a little commercial break
"Get a Grip" Mini Gift Basket for the Chronic Masturbator
The "Get a Grip Mini-Giftbasket for the Chronic Masturbator" contains a mini-bottle of Purell hand sanitizer and one pair of green latex surgical gloves for the handling of the penis; two packs of HandzOff Anti-masturbatory gum; one church-approved "Good News" pivot-head disposable razor for ease in shaving the palms should the masturbator relapse; one Baby "Every Sperm is Sacred" pocket touchstone to remind the masturbator to save his seed; and one pamphlet on avoiding self-abuse, all attractively packaged in a handsome giftbasket ready to present to that special someone in your life.
Stefan Funke 
Missi 